Music

Man starts petition to replace Kanye West with Jack White at Glastonbury

by Josiah Hughes

Rap is crap and rock? It rocks. Or so says Neil Lonsdale, a British rock fan who’s simply gutted that Glastonbury’s promoters have opted to book constantly controversial rap auteur Kanye West in their headlining slot this year.

Lonsdale did what any good rock fan would do and started an online petition via Change.org. Titled “Cancel Kanye West’s headlining slot and get a rock band,” the petition reads, “Kanye West is an insult to music fans all over the world. We spend hundreds of pounds to attend glasto, and by doing so, expect a certain level of entertainment…. Lets prevent this musical injustice now!”

Speaking with the NME, the Norfolk-based Lonsdale admitted that he’s never actually attended Glastonbury. Still, that hasn’t dissuaded him from launching a campaign to tell Kanye to sod off.

He goes on to explain that he was right chuffed when he learned  that Foo Fighters would be headlining the fest’s Friday night slot, but his dreams of a rock ‘n’ roll weekend with mates were crushed when he learned that Kanye would be hip-hopping on Saturday night.

“I fought the temptation to scream and instead opted to hurl my iPhone across the room,” he said. “Two years ago we had The Rolling Stones playing the Saturday night, and this year we get Kanye West? It’s an outrage!”

Lonsdale’s also harboring resentment because of Kanye’s Grammy antics earlier this year, saying he “totally disrespected Beck.” He also called Kanye’s lyrics “totally appalling” and said that his BRIT Awards performance was “just threatening.”

While the petition is currently hovering around the 15,000 mark, Lonsdale is unsure if it’ll make a difference. Either way, he told NME that he’d be much happier if promoters had booked a headliner like Fleetwood Mac, Jack White, Muse or Green Day.

Before we take him too seriously, however, Lonsdale admits that his idea for a petition was mostly to take the piss.

“I’m only one guy. My petition started as a joke, and I never thought it would make a difference,” he said, adding, “Anyway, Kanye’s a big boy, I’m sure he can take a bit of banter.”

That much is certainly true — according to VH1, Kanye West is interested in being the subject of a Comedy Central roast alongside his wife Kim Kardashian. If it ends up happening, maybe they can get Neil Lonsdale to bring some of his dry British wit across the pond.