Music

Rock 'n' rollers and country fans most likely to cheat

by Tyler Munro

Cheaters might be the funniest show on television, but that said, we’re not ones to laugh at actual infidelity. Because for every young couple catching its better half tongue-tied and hand-locked at their local Firkin, there’s a life—or worse—a family being ruined. So what if there was a way to be suss out a cheater before they strike? It turns out there are some warning signs, starting first with the kind of music they’re into.

Saucily named website Illicit Encounters commissioned a study of admitted adulterers in the United Kingdom and found that more than anything, they loved to rock. The numbers paint a clearer picture.

Excluding Ireland, 41 per cent of the cheaters polled called themselves fans of rock ‘n’ roll. 26 per cent were into pop, while country (11%), classical (7%), R&B (5%), Gospel (!!!, 3%) and Rap (2%) rounded out the list.

Curiously, the Irish showed distinctly different results: the order was the same except for the top slot, which put 33% of its polled cheaters as fans of country music. Was Dolly’s desperate “Jolene” plea not enough?

An Illicit Encounters spokesperson attributes the numbers to rock and roll’s rebellious spirit, telling The Daily Mail that the genre has long been “associated with sexual appeal, risk taking and living life on the edge.”

“Many of our members would have grown up under the influence of bands such as the Rolling Stones, The Who, Led Zeppelin and Fleetwood Mac,” the spokesperson continued, “and it is very possible that these songs have had an influence on their lifestyle.”

Still, that statement says one thing stronger than the numbers ever could: They mostly polled old people. That’s got to be it, right?