Music
Analyzing Creed singer Scott Stapp's grunty new single, "Slow Suicide"
by Josiah Hughes
October 4, 2013
At some point, consuming only “good” things gets to be a little boring. If you’ve only spent your time with Yeezus, Breaking Bad and the trailer for Spike Jonze’s Her, you’re doing yourself a disservice.
In order to keep enjoying good things without taking them for granted, I’m going to look at something revoltingly awful from the week in pop culture. And not “LOL Miley twerk vid” bullshit, either. This is pure, unadulterated garbage that transcends the notion of “all taste is subjective” to a new level of awfulness. These are things that even Weird Canada would give a bad review to.
So what have I got in store for you this week? It was tempting to go a number of routes. For one thing, Calgary’s supposedly cool mayor embarrassed himself to bits on this horrendously late, so-bad-it’s-not-good-just-really-bad Calgary flood song, but I fear that if I started writing about it I would never stop.
Then there’s the snippet of Lil Wayne and Paris Hilton’s new collaboration, but I think I kinda like it in a weird way.
Thankfully, nothing screams (in a constipated growling sound) “transcendently bad” quite like Creed’s Scott Stapp, and I mean that literally — not only is his band universally reviled in every way, but there’s an amazing “are they or not?” narrative surrounding the band’s potential Christian beliefs. They’re Collective Soul: The Next Generation, towing that line between “Christian” and just “spiritual” that once had Christians and just spiritual people up in heated debates over their then-novel pumpkin spice lattes. (To understand the kind of debate I’m talking about, read this pre-9/11 Best Music Writing-worthy blog post titled “collective soul thoughts.”)
Creed have smartly dropped hints toward Christianity throughout their career — “Higher” is probably about heaven, here known as “a place with golden streets,” and when Scott Stapp grunted out “shudda beendaed onna Sunday morning, baggnghh ma heeaa” on the band’s career-making My Own Prison album, no one knew what he was saying except for the words “Sunday morning,” which probably meant church. Since Creed fizzled out, Stapp has continued to flip-flop between sorta Christian and definitely not.
Which brings us to October, the tenth month of the 2013th year A.D., and our boy Stapp is revving up the hype machine for his upcoming new album Proof of Life. The name has a vague anti-abortion ring to it, though it could also be a reference to this money-losing Russell Crow/Meg Ryan vehicle from the year 2000.
Regardless, Proof of Life is clearly all about life and death, because it’s called Proof of Life and the lead single is about death. Namely suicide. The song is called “Slow Suicide.”
The song opens up with the kind of chugging drop-D chord progression that chongos bump chests to while revving up for a game of Madden. It’s the sort of post-Rage Against the Machine, up-and-down mosh pit riff that pasty dudes blast in their trucks to build up nerves on their way to another eyebrow piercing. It sounds like a more Christian P.O.D.
That’s all in the first 20 seconds. Then shit gets eerie for the creeping first verse, where the guitars’ digital processing attempts to add an ominous atmosphere and Stappy offers up a new, more controlled version of his patented yarl. “I’m not evil, no matter what you think of me,” he says, presumably addressing the legions of Pharisees who are judging him for the speck of sawdust in his eye and not the log in their own. “I’m just human, there’s a part of you that’s just like me.”
As Stapp continues to analyze his own sinful human nature, the guitars build up with some warbly alt-rock goodness, like a neutered version of Korn’s guitar techniques. Then, just when you think it’s gonna get super fucking aggro and you get to mosh, he belts out “AND NOW I BELIEVE.” Scratch that — he’s also busting out his yarling vocal delivery, which, in order to replicate properly, should be spelled with an “r” beside every vowel, so it’s really “arnd nrow Ir brelrieve.”
From there, we get a shuffling, mid-tempo chorus with a small amount of melody, though not enough pop appeal to make it the YouTube cover fodder that “Higher” was. Instead, we get a weird chord progression with way too much chorus effect on the guitars (using chorus on the chorus? You literal son of a bitch!) and strained alt-bro vocals. It basically turns into an Econoline Crush or I Mother Earth song. Undoubtedly, this is a big shiny tune.
After he ends the chorus by singing “It’s like committing slow suicide,” the song kicks into a rockin’ groove complete with gross rockin’, distorted aggro vocals and some goofy guitar bits, but only for a second. Methinks that’ll erupt into a big breakdown later on.
Then we get another verse, where Stapp sounds a little more into the song, and the once eerie guitars have broken into some heavy palm-muted shit.
One more “arnd nrow Ir brelrieve” and we’re back in the alt-rock pop zone, then the aggro “slow suicide” part. Is this where it turns into a breakdown, at last? Nope. Instead, it’s an extended chorus, where Stapp says “living a lie” in the phlegmmiest way I’ve maybe ever heard. I honestly just dry-heaved from it. As it builds up, however, some strings are introduced, and it keeps getting poppier and poppier. Seriously, was Edwin involved in this shit?
Finally, after the second chorus, we’re treated to the creeping breakdown that none of us needed to hear. First, Stapp’s “committing slow suicide” line is pitched way lower, perhaps to indicate the life of evil he was living back then, before it kicks into a wicked (read: actually evil, like get it away from me) guitar solo, all pinch-shifted guitar notes and vaguely middle eastern melodies. Then it’s back to the chorus, and Stapp finally stahps singing with a breathy exhale, though sadly not for the last time.
It’s hard to know if the YouTube comments are being scrubbed by the record label or if none of his haters have bothered checking it out. The most impassioned commenters are arguing over what’s the better post-Creed project, Alter Bridge or Scott Stapp solo. I think James Addison may have figured it out:
If you’ve made it this far in the article, I’d like to commend you. I don’t even know how I made it this far. I’d also like to encourage you to check out Scott Stapp’s official website, complete with a hilarious image of the singer deep in constipated derp vocal mode. He’s drenched in sweat, wearing business casual, and his face kinda looks like the moon. While you’re there, make sure you get the word out by signing all of your friends up for Scott’s official newsletter. (You’re welcome, fellow AUX contributor Mark Teo.)
Tags: Music, News, garbage day, scott stapp
