Do you remember a time when bands like Me First and the Gimme Gimmes and New Found Glory had the “punk cover” market cornered? Well, for better or worse, these goofy ’90s pop-punks have since passed the ironic appreciation torch to a new generation of flat-ironed, crab-squatting, drop C axe-chugging bands with contradictory band names.

Thanks to the hyper-speed Web 3.0 user-generated content machine, when a pop song starts getting a ton of radio play, a “screamo cover” inevitably gets uploaded to YouTube. First, let me address our use of the word screamo here, because I don’t want to offend any pageninetynine fans. For our purposes, screamo isn’t meant to align these bands with Saetia, and other ’90s skramz bands. Even if it’s a misnomer, here it’s being used as a default descriptor for aggressive music with screaming vocals. Plus, that’s how these bands tag their music. It’s no more ridiculous than Fearless Records calling their contemptible covers compilations “Punk Goes Pop.” Actually, that’s exactly what we’re dealing with here, but even shittier, because these bands don’t have a Fearless budget for their covers.

But really, bands do this for the exposure. If you search “[insert Bruno Mars song here] screamo cover” on YouTube, you’ll get thousands of results. And that’s how I found these. So don’t get testy, Orchid fans.

Here are five “screamo” covers of contemporary pop songs. Brace yourselves.

Any Given Day – “Diamonds” (originally by Rihanna)

Wow. “Diamonds” works surprisingly well as a tough-guy hardcore anthem.

Cradle The Fall – “Thrift Shop” (originally by Macklemore x Ryan Lewis)

This is not…I repeat, not…fucking awesome.

Forever Ends Today – “Gangnam Style” (originally by Psy)

There’s that contradictory band name I was talking about earlier. Also, fuck this.

Past Inhale – “I Knew You Were Trouble” (originally by Taylor Swift)

Is this douche the bizarro T-Swift of the metalcore world? Did he get dumped by Maggie Gyllenhaall?

Death Come Cover Me – “Scream & Shout” (originally by will.i.am)

This is actually way better than the original, but that’s not saying much. Also, judging by their name, this band has made covering pop songs their “thing,” making them the Me First of the screamo world, I guess? Weird.

Oh, and how could we end this post without a screamo cover of “Harlem Shake”? We couldn’t, so here: