Kanye West shook the dust off of his Twitter account on Friday of last week, and posted a series of cryptic single-worded tweets, including “Truth,” “Beauty,” “Awesomeness,” and “Functionality.” Kanye gave no real clarification on the relevance of these tweets, so all we can do is wildly speculate.

Are they song titles? Did Kanye get confused, and think that Twitter was Google? Or, is it possible that Kanye’s followers were being included in a brainstorming session to prepare for a major life-event in his near future? It’s going to be hard for Kanye and Kim to top the name “Blue Ivy Carter,” but you know they’re going to try.

If these seven tweets are potential baby names for the Kimye offspring, we want to start getting used to them now, because “Functionality West” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.

Here are seven possible names for Kanye and Kim’s unborn child. For the middle name(s), we translated the baby’s first name (or its closest approximation) into Igbo (the language “Kanye” is derived from) and Armenian (Kim’s heritage). Based on the name choice, we also concocted a reality TV pitch to honour Kim’s “career,” and picked out a matching Kanye lyric to help us make an educated prediction of the baby’s first words.

By the time Kim and Kanye’s co-branded DONDA/E! Network birth announcement is projected on an immerse 14-screen custom-built theatre, you’ll already know so much about the baby, thanks to our creative detective work.

Regardless of which name they pick, we’re probably still just going to call him/her/it Kimye.

Full Name: Truth Nneke Chshmartut’yun Kardashian-West

Baby’s First Reality Show Title & Synopsis:

Moment Of Truth
Miniseries. A camera crew from E! gives you a revealing look at life in the Kardashian-West household, right up until the very moment a very pregnant Kim is about to pop.

Baby’s First Words (As Kanye Lyrics): “You’re my lies, you’re my truth / You’re my war, you’re my truce.” (“Lost In The World”)

Full Name: Beauty Uha Geghets’kut’yun Kardashian-West

Baby’s First Reality Show:

Beauty & The West
Have you ever seen Kanye try to change a diaper? As Kim’s schedule gets busier, Yeezy’s spending less time in the studio, and more time in the nursery.

Baby’s First Words As Kanye Lyrics: “Cutie the bomb / Met her at a beauty salon.” (“Gold Digger”)

Full Name: Minimalism Adakada Nosr Kardashian West

Baby’s First Reality Show:

Maxxed Out with Mini West
Follow a young Minimalism “Mini” West, as she tests the limits of her father’s credit cards on luxurious shopping sprees with her best friend Blue Ivy.

Baby’s First Words As Kanye Lyrics: “I guess there’s more good women than men percentage wise / So her chance of having a husband just minimize.” (“Apologize”)

Full Name: Emotion Ifụnanya Huzmunk Kardashian West

Baby’s First Reality Show:

My Super Sweet Sixteen: Emotion’s 11
Emotion West can’t wait another five years to be spoiled on her super sweet sixteenth, so Mom and Dad decided to throw her the eleventh birthday party she’s always dreamed of.

Baby’s First Words As Kanye Lyrics: “And you ain’t finna see a mogul get emotional / Every time I hear bout other niggas is strokin’ you.” (“Blame Game”)

Full Name: Soul Ala Mmọọ Hogi Kardashian West

Baby’s First Reality Show:

Soul Food
Soul West is the first baby to have her own cooking show. Tune in, and watch her walk through a delectable gourmet recipe, then dump it all over her head.

Baby’s First Words As Kanye Lyrics: “How he stay faithful in a room full of hos? Must be the pharaohs, he in tune with his soul.” (“Can’t Tell Me Nothin'”)

Full Name: Awesomeness Aro Zarmanali Kardashian West

Baby’s First Reality Show:

Awesomeness
A MTV-produced Ridiculousness spin-off where Awesomeness West and Rob Dyrdek get really high and watch YouTube videos together. Spoiler alert: contains much giggling.

Baby’s First Words As Kanye Lyrics: “Awesome, the Christian in Christian Dior / Damn, they don’t make ’em like this anymore.” (“Stronger”)

Full Name: Functionality Mmemme Funkts’ionalut’yuny Kardashian-West

Baby’s First Reality Show:

Function Over Fashion
Functionality West is facing pressure from his father to take over the fashion label arm of the family business. Function doesn’t want to let Kanye down, but he fears that he didn’t inherit his papa’s signature panache.

Baby’s First Words As Kanye Lyrics: “Work it, make it, do it, makes us / Harder, better, faster, stronger.” (“Stronger”)