Justin Bieber Offered Hockey Contract By Minor League Team

by Dave Hodgson

September 12, 2012

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In a few short days, the National Hockey League might lock out its players and embark on yet another prolonged work stoppage, meaning no hockey for months. How desperate will you hockey fans out there be? Desperate enough to watch Justin Bieber play it? You may just find out, as the minor league Bakersfield Condors have offered him a spot on their team.

In a few short days, the National Hockey League might lock out its players and embark on yet another prolonged work stoppage, meaning no hockey for months. How desperate will you hockey fans out there be? Desperate enough to watch Justin Bieber play? You may just find out, as the minor league Bakersfield Condors have offered him a spot on their roster.

In a press release, the Condors said that his “sick flow will fit right in with a Condors team known for their style,” as both you and I cringed reflexively. As a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs who has skated with them several times, Bieber knows his way around a hockey rink. But the chances of him taking them up their offer rank somewhere between zip and zilch. Dangling that silky-soft string bean with his gold-painted skates in front of a team of angry minor leaguers who play for peanuts sounds like the recipe for a concussion.

When we finished gleefully imagining Bieber getting cleaned out by an open ice hit, we got to thinking: who would join him on our all-pop all-star hockey team?

Left Winger: Carrie Underwood. I’m not sure if she plays, but I bet she’s learned a thing or two from her husband, the Nashville Predators’ Mike Fisher.

Right Winger: Avril Lavigne. She not only played youth hockey, but did so against boys. A lesser man would add that she often said, “See you later, boi.” I am that lesser man. She often said, “See you later, boi.”

Left Defense: Chad Brownlee. The Canadian country star and CCMA award winner has some legit hockey cred: he was drafted by the Vancouver Canucks in the 2003 Entry Draft.

Right Defense: Michael Buble. Apparently, Buble ends many of his concerts by shooting signed tennis balls into the crowd with a hockey stick. Sure, you’ll do.

Goalie: Rick Ross. Hockey experience? Zero. Taking up a lot of room experience? Strong.

Tags: Music, Featured, News, Avril Lavigne, carrie underwood, Justin Bieber, Rick Ross

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