Music

Here's what Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne's child is going to look like

by Aaron Zorgel

So, by now everyone and your uncle has taken some kind of Twitter/Facebook/Friendster jab at the supposed Chad Kroeger/Avril Lavigne engagement. Yes, I DO think the music their child makes is going to be horrible, Uncle Jerry! Yes, I DO hope that Avril “Yoko”s Nickelback the way she did Sum-41, Uncle Jerry. Now, shut up.

Sorry, Uncle Jerry. There’s no shame in piling on. And besides, what kind of pop music source would we be if we didn’t take things a step further?

If you sincerely haven’t fired up your social media of choice in the last 18 hours, here’s the gist of the story. Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne met while working on a song together for Avril’s new record, and now they’re engaged. People Magazine broke the news, and the story was retweeted by both Avril and the official Nickelback Twitter account, so you know it’s legit. Somewhere, Derrick Whibley is screaming “COME ON!” into the sky.

We here at Pop Hunter licensed Conan O’Brien’s patented “If They Mated” technology to bring you a glimpse of what their Canadian late ’90s alt-rock offspring will look like. Brace yourselves.

The Happy Couple

Chavril Lavigne-Kroeger

Yikes. At least he’s got his (her?) father’s…goatee?

A lot of people are asking what the song that Avril and Chad worked on will sound like, so we threw together this horiffic little mash-up. Turn it on, gaze into Chavril’s beady little eyes, and prepare to weep for days on end.