Music

The 5 Worst Lyrics from Serena Williams' New Rap Song

by Aaron Zorgel

I’m not sure how she did it, but in a one minute song, Serena Williams managed to undermine the fact that she used to date both Common and Drake by spitting some of the worst rhymes in recent memory, nullifying any hip-hop cred her dating history might have bought her.

TMZ managed to track down a clip of this untitled song, and it quickly becomes clear that Serena’s father wasn’t forcing her to practice her flow day and night during childhood.

Let’s get really tough with Serena, and recount the 5 worst lyrics from this embarrassing mess:

5. “I ball hard, no tennis racquet.”

She should hang on tight to that racquet, and stop making such a racket, know what I’m sayin’ y’all? Where my pun fans at?

4. “I make a lot of money but that ain’t your business / You can tell the people I said this.”

She’s not lying — Serena is reportedly worth about $85 million, thanks to prize money and product endorsements. She’d better be careful, though, because her sponsors might want to drop her after hearing her rap.

3. “I ain’t never been a loser, and I’m always on top: roofer.”

There’s nothing worse than a misfired attempt at hashtag rap. Be careful on that rooftop, Serena, it’s windy. You might fall off.

2. “I cook the track up like a frozen pizza.”

You mean you took the track out of the box, tossed it in the oven, and in 20 minutes you ate it?

1. “Swag out this world, you should call me Venus / That’s my sister, my name is Serena.”

The childish simplicity of this line makes me think Serena’s first draft might have looked something like this:

“I play Tennis
Hi, how are you?
I like pizza.
I make a lot of money.”

Apparently not all athletes can be cross-over multi-talented geniuses like Shaq.