Yesterday the POTUS with the mostest, Barack Obama, Tweeted out a call for his supporters to suggest the songs that will be played at his Saturday rally at Virginia Commonwealth University. Naturally, my first reaction was to mastermind a way to produce the most inappropriate playlist possible. Why would I do such a thing? His opponent Mitt Romney believes that corporations are people, and my grandfather is Carnival Cruise Lines, making me 1/4 corporation. Blood’s gotta stick with blood.

Whether you disagree with his foreign policy or simply have twenty minutes to kill, we’d like you to help us spam the crap out of President Obama’s suggestion form with our picks below. You’ll notice that it only allows for two suggestions. We came up with five, making it all the more likely that one will slip through the vetting process. So vote early and constantly!

1. Baha Men – “Who Let The Dogs Out?”

Not only is this song not fit for public consumption in any way, but Barack brought some bad press upon himself when he admitted in his autobiography that he ate dog in Indonesia as a child. Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it. Or if you’re squeamish and want to know what dog tastes like, just have the Grandpa Burger at A&W.

2. Kanye West – “Mercy”

It would be a tad awkward for Obama to take the stage to this, since he’s called Kanye “a jackass” on two separate occasions. But has his opinion changed since West began puttin’ the pepperette to Kim Kardashian? You can’t underestimate the all-important plastic dullard vote!

3. Trace Adkins – “Just Fishin'”

This would simply be stirring the pot since Adkins is a whole-hearted Romneyite, stating “I am going to support him 100 percent and hopefully we’ll get a Republican back in the White House.” And he said that while playing a country music show at an NRA convention, before inadvertently opening up a black hole of Southernness.

4. Snoop Dogg, Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson – “Roll Me Up”

Obama has refused to address the legalization of marijuana with any seriousness; when the question was raised during an Internet town hall chat, he laughed it off and asked what the audience was smoking. So let’s rub it in his face with this special 4/20 release from the All Stars of Wacky Tobacky – Snoop Dogg, Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson. All it’s missing is Woody Harrelson playing the lap steel.

5. National Anthem of Kenya

SHOW ME THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE! What’s that? It’s online right here? Well, this seems to be in order.