POP UNCULTURED: A roundup of weird happenings in music for the week

by Anne T. Donahue

June 10, 2011

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Since it’s impossible to address the total madness of the music industry in only five days, Pop Uncultured saves some of the week’s strangest stories for Friday afternoon. Enjoy?

Jack White and Karen Elson divorce and throw one hell of a party [FULL STORY]
We might as well get the sad news out of the way from the beginning, so it’s with heavy hearts that we bid adieu to the official matrimonial union of Jack White and Karen Elson. Sad. But you know what’s not? Their ass-kicking “we’re still pals” party that every other couple should probably take a cue from if and when their marriages hit the rocks. Jack White. He’s just better than us.

Pitchfork’s going to be a movie now
Hey, it’s the next Social Network, guys! Nope. Kidding. Not at all.
NME reports that writers Mark and Jay Duplass (Cyrus, Jeff Who Lives At Home) are shopping around a script about a middle-aged woman whose musician son dies, and then seeks revenge on the music writer who once blasted him. The twist? Said critic is just a wee little bay-bay (teenager). We can only hope Justin Timberlake takes the role.

Metallica goes Monopoly [FULL STORY]
Yeah, we know it’s unfair that we laugh at this while KISS, The Beatles and every other band on earth have released a Monopoly game, BUT STILL. Monopoly! Metallica! Who’s willing to bet there’s a Napster dig in the Community Chest? (Hey-o! Jokes from 1999 are just THE BEST, am I right?)

The Darkness come back and are sober
Right, fine, so The Darkness comeback isn’t exactly the biggest news on earth, but what about the fact that they’re now sober? (No?) Or what about the fact that no matter what you try and say this afternoon, you fucking loved this song in 2003.

Paul McCartney has a cartoon mouse alter-ego [FULL STORY]
Once upon a time, in a land far away, Paul McCartney created a cartoon mouse version of himself that he named Bruce McMouse. It was SUPPOSED to be for a film featuring the mouse and Wings, but – surprise, surprise – it didn’t happen, but don’t worry because now you can buy and blah, blah, blah, just read this:

“McCartney imagined Bruce and his family living under the stage while Wings performed, and the idea was to release a film featuring the band interacting with the cartoon characters.”

I hate you, person responsible for crushing Paul’s dream.

The annual gathering of the Jugaloos can be summed up in 27 minutes [FULL STORY]
Are you tired of watching the Magic Bullet commercial on repeat? Have you finally caved in and bought a Snuggie? Well now you (yes, you!) can be treated to 27 minutes of the Insane Clown Posse posse advertising their yearly festival of awful that will probably include terrible things you’d rather eat poison than do anyway. But just in case you want to double check, here you go:

James Franco is planning on releasing an EP [FULL STORY]
A) Absolutely nobody should be surprised. B) Never forget:

Ted Nugent wants to take Mark Zuckerberg hunting [FULL STORY]
First of all, WHO DOESN’T? Second of all, this is because Mark Zuckerberg said he’s now going to be a “responsible consumer” and will only eat meat he “kills himself”. Oh. So clearly Ted Nugent got psyched and gave him tips like “go slow, soak in the mighty spirit and call [him – Ted Nugent].'” Kind of hope it turns out like this.

Limp Bizkit releases another song!!111oneone!! [FULL STORY]
Looks like somebody found you a weekend jam!

Limp Bizkit – Gold Cobra by thearmpit

Tags: Music, News, insane clown posse, Jack White, James Franco, Limp Bizkit, Mark Zuckerberg, Metallica, ted nugent, The Beatles, The Darkness

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