Music

POP UNCULTURED: A roundup of weird happenings in music for the week

by Anne T. Donahue

Since it’s impossible to address the total madness of the music industry in only five days, Pop Uncultured saves some of the week’s strangest stories for Friday afternoon. Enjoy?

There’s a YouTube song about #firstworldproblems and I just want you to listen to it
Don’t get me wrong, I know this is really, really terrible, but I wanted to give you the heads up that this is likely going to go viral, and you’re probably going to see it a lot in Facebook statuses. (Including mine.) [via Billboard]

Mastodon is still around and their cover art is fan-ceh [FULL STORY]

Your move, Limp Bizkit.

R&B Singer, Lloyd, has a Guns N’ Roses tattoo and it’s pretty concerning
You may not know who Lloyd is, but now that he’s debuted his ballin’ new Guns N’ Roses tattoo on 106 and Park, it’s safe to assume he’s pretty much the coolest guy around. Well, technically it’s not an official band tribute (and he claims it’s to signify he’s a “walking contrast”?), but if you’re going to permanently etch two guns lying on a bed of roses and put it on the back of your head, you shouldn’t be surprised when some of us (hi) are all, “Dude got a Guns N’ Roses tattoo! WOAH, GUY.”

Vanilli is finally (finally) making the comeback we’ve all been waiting for! [FULL STORY]
In case listening to “Girl You Know It’s You” on repeat hasn’t been enough, Fab Morvan of Milli Vanilli is making an official comeback. And get this: HE WILL BE USING HIS ACTUAL VOICE. (Jokes from 1988 are the best!) He’s currently working with The Alchemist (not the guy from the novel by Paolo Coehlo – but imagine?), and according to The Alchemist’s interview with TMZ, “it’s real shit, dude.” I approve.

Alison Mosshart allegedly morphed into Steve Buscemi from The Wedding Singer
According to Jamie Hince and Kate Moss’ wedding guests, Alison Mosshart gave quite a “patronizing speech” in which she told Kate “how to treat her man.” Yikes. At least she didn’t remind everyone that she’s self taught, no guitar lessons, thank you very much POP. [via NME]

Miley Cyrus covered the Gorillaz and it’s not as bad as watching the couple make out next to her [FULL STORY]
Because why wouldn’t she, Miley Cyrus graced her backup dancers with a version of Gorillaz’ “Melancholy Hill” for their official anniversary gift. But what you don’t know is that it was trumped by their weird slow dance/make out combo that put our semi-formals to shame.

Lady Gaga likes a completely normal everyday thing
According to NME, Lady Gaga is a really big fan of the Antiques Roadshow, which explains why she she’s actually just like us.

Lily Allen is writing a Bridget Jones musical [FULL STORY]
Good news, everyone: Lily Allen is writing songs for a Bridget Jones musical, so just in case hours spent copying Renee Zellweger’s accent hasn’t been quenching your thirst, you’ve been given a proverbial water ration. (I’m not even 100% sure what that meant.) Anyway, here’s hoping there’s some sort of appearance from this god guy:

Cheers to you too, sir.

Not only did Justin Timberlake buy MySpace, he’s putting on a MySpace talent show maybe [FULL STORY]
So to recap, Justin Timberlake bought MySpace (or something), and to help “bring the [music] industry back to MySpace,” he’s going to put on an X-Factor-esque talent contest. Odds are the meeting went exactly like this:

LaToya Jackson was almost sold Mike Tyson by her ex-husband for $100 000
Okay, let’s not get into a situation where we poke fun at domestic violence (because it’s terrible and not funny at all), so instead, just remember that luckily, LaToya’s okay now and Mike Tyson has gone on to sing Phil Collins. [via Music-News]