Music

POP UNCULTURED: A roundup of weird happenings in music for the week

by Anne T. Donahue

Since it’s impossible to address the total madness of the music industry in only five days, Pop Uncultured saves some of the week’s strangest stories for Friday afternoon. Enjoy?

Now you can finally watch Rob Zombie’s detergent commercial [FULL STORY]
“DON’T LET DETERGENTS TORTURE YOUR CLOTHES…”

Cher Lloyd (who?!) had her single leaked and it’s really, really bad
Fine, so you might not be well-versed in British pop culture, but SOME OF US may have dabbled in The X Factor and, say, kept tabs on Cher Lloyd, only to “anxiously await” her debut single. WELL GUESS WHAT LEAKED, GUYS. Sadly, the full version’s been pulled because Cher was really upset about the whole ordeal (read: terrible, terrible feedback), but to keep you interested, here’s a preview of the little gem:

FINALLY: a closer look at heavy metal vegan cooking [FULL STORY]
This is a thing, and it will make you forget the wonder of “Swagger Jagger”.

Just never forget this:

Rebecca Black forced to pull “Friday”, but don’t worry – it’s back!
Earlier, NME reported that everyone’s favourite YouTube darling was forced to pull “Friday” thanks to an ongoing dispute with Ark, the company responsible for the greatest anthem on earth. But please stop crying because it’s back! An extra-special director’s cut just for you on this, the Friday of NXNE. Looks like those bookers dropped the ball by not scheduling Ms. Black for a secret show, if we’re going to be honest.

Weird Al wants you to know 25 facts about him [FULL STORY]
And who can blame him? In celebration of his 64th upcoming release, the man who penned “Thinner” shares that his “favourite flavour is red” and that his favourite wrench is a “socket”. (And to think you all laughed at my collection of Weird Al tapes in 1993. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?)

Liam Gallagher’s bodyguard gets arrested for mailing bullets to people[FULL STORY]
Apparently, things got crazy after Liam’s bodyguard/business partner/”constant companion” got busted for sending death threats to people in the form of actual bullets. Major props for his choice of wording on said death threats, though: “Drop the case, or the next case will be yours.” Seems like someone’s been reading the failed soap opera pilot I penned for grade nine English.

Two guys wanted to kill Joss Stone . . . WITH SWORDS [FULL STORY]
And I am by no means condoning this or making light of it or saying “you suck, Joss Stone!”, but I am just going to leave this right here:

Teenagers’ brainwaves can potentially predict chart-topping jams [FULL STORY]
To get technical, scientists have found that “involuntary neural reactions to pop music in a group of 14 girls and 13 boys between the ages of 12 and 18 years old showed a natural predilection to songs would later sell at least 20,000 copies”. To get less technical, this finally explains the once-popularity of 98 Degrees.

Now you can watch kids react to Lady Gaga [FULL STORY]
Say what you will about Lady Gaga, but Athena’s toy dog is fucking fierce. (And yes, Sloane. She’s dead serious.)

Praise every type of god you worship: a preview of Weird Al’s “Perform This Way”
Personally, there’s no better way to cap off the week than by combining two artists featured on this post for the ultimate in video brilliance. (Also, I’m tired.) Thanks to an exclusive preview on Spinner, you can be treated to the visual counterpart to what should be everyone’s ringtone by the end of this weekend. You are so, so welcome.