Music

If we could talk to: Andrew W.K.

by AUX staff

We’re pretty lucky in 2011: there’s an endless army of rad dudes and badass grrrls, and unlike eras defined by letter writing and Tiger Beat fan clubs, the wide world of social media (read: Twitter)  has made communicating with our favourite lads and lasses easier than just waiting outside of their apartment building. (Not that we would ever encourage that because let’s face it – those retraining orders stick.)

But in terms of having a conversation, let’s be honest: Andrew W.K. deserves much more than just 140 characters or a simple RT. The man deserves some sentence structure. Some vocal range. An affirming nod or head tilt, and a face-to-face exchange abut why partying rules. So if a conversation could be had with anyone awesome, Andrew W.K.’s our guy. But don’t take our word for it (actually, please do), consult these points absolutely free of agenda or persuasion, written by masters of the English language (us):

– Andrew W.K. likes to party, and frankly, we also like to party. Thus, anything more than “hello, how are you?” would likely result in a party-off of sorts – and by that, we mean “a conversation complemented by beverages and peppered with high fives”.

–  Unless you’ve been RT’d by Gaga herself, few things will make you feel as cool as being followed by the one and only Andrew W.K. Thus, we’d like to ask: how does one achieve such coolness? How can we ourselves master the art of unbridled internet power? And most importantly: will he please follow us back already?

– You say 2000s, we say Andrew W.K. We’re not entirely sure what that means, but we’d like to talk about why 2011’s better than 2002.

– Andrew W.K. lives somewhere. If he told us about where he lives, we might be that much closer to a party at his house. And you know what that means: chips, dip and a whole lot of Twitter @replies.

– To be completely shallow, Andrew W.K. boasts some luscious locks. If we got to speak with him, we could ask him about how one achieves an unstoppable mane and whether hair length contributes to party time stamina.

– Because if we spoke to Andrew W.K., we’d likely become best friends. And you know what that means: real talk, coffee dates and the thing that comes before “Part B” (Part A! Get it?)

So that’s that on that. Basically, we’re joining the masses because really, who doesn’t want to have a conversation with Andrew W.K.? We might even offer him a hamburger and/or delicious snack – the possibilities are endless. So Andrew, if you’re listening, let’s chat – we’re fun, we’re sassy, and we know “party” is synonymous with “hell to the yes”.

Who would you talk to?