Music

The definitive Lady Gaga meat dress guide

by Anne T. Donahue

Cries of “it’s overdone!” aside, there’s set to be a lot more Gaga come Halloween night. And while you’ll see everything from wigs to bubbles to Kermit the Frog, there’s only one look that really matters: meat. Lots of it, preferably in dress form.

Luckily, to avoid spending hundreds of dollars at your nearest deli, The Guardian have come up with a foolproof and vegetarian way to bask in all your Lady Gaga-in-a-meat-dress glory. With only fabric, paint, plastic, talcum powder, scissors, an inexpensive dress you never plan to wear again, pins, glue, string and a headband (really – it sounds more complicated than it is), you’ll be only one how-to guide away from making the bubble wrap Gagas seem like an afterthought.

And true, crafts are tedious. But here’s a tip: instead of getting overwhelmed by instructions (let’s face it – if a how-to guide consists of more than “open bag, wear vest”, most of us have tapped out), treat Lewis’ steps for costume domination like an elementary school art school project. Observe:

First, prepare the fabric (paint!), and let the spirit of your six-year-old self run rampant with artistic freedom. Then, head outside or into a well-ventilated area to apply the latex for that yellow meaty glow (just like the spray paint projects in grade four).  After that?  Cut, glue and apply (fun with paste!), leaving you with only one last step: turn a headband into a meat hat. (More fun with paste!)

See? Easy as pie (or meat). It’s safe to say all those donning “Situation” ab t-shirts are about to feel pretty foolish now.