Music

The world probably won't end tomorrow, but here's our 10-song soundtrack just in case

by Tyler Munro

The world probably isn’t going to end tomorrow. Harold Camping, the radio-host who predicts tomorrow’s would-be rapture, doesn’t have the best track record with these things. He originally predicted the world would end in 1994 and yet here we are, 17 years and five Godsmack albums later, awaiting another of his monumental failures.

But what if we’re wrong? What if he’s right?

That probably won’t happen. But here’s ten songs to for your rapture soundtrack. Y’know, just in case.

10. John Murphy – “In the House, In a Heartbeat”

This is the song off the 28 Days Later soundtrack, and while it was originally catered to running away from zombies (will there be zombies?), it’s one hell of a build-up. Listen to this one before you go to bed tonight.

9. Andrew W.K. – “Ready to Die”

Ever heard the rumour that Andrew W.K. is secretly a bunch of different people? Maybe one of them is Harold Camping. Check these lyrics out, “This is your time to pay, this is your judgment day. We made a sacrifice and now we get to take your life.”

8. Europe – “The Final Countdown”

Some have said Harold Camping is a false prophet, that his prediction and fearmongering is little more than a cheap trick to promote his radio show. “Illusion,” we imagine him saying in reply. “A trick is something a whore does for money.”

7. UB40 – “The Earth Dies Screaming”

Because who says the apocalypse can do without the sweet, summer sounds of these reggae enthusiasts?

6. Johnny Cash – “The Man Comes Around”

Few can provide a bleak soundtrack like the original Man in Black. Sorry, Will.

5. King Crimson – “Epitaph”

In the Court of the Crimson King‘s album cover has been creeping people out for over 40 years, and the lyrics to “Epitaph,” its third track, could give the end of the world one hell of a denouement. “The wall on which the prophets wrote is cracking at the seams. Upon the instruments of death, the sunlight brightly gleams. When every man is torn apart with nightmares and with dreams, will no one lay the laurel wreath when silence drowns the screams? Confusion will be my epitaph. As I crawl a cracked and broken path, if we make it we can all sit back and laugh. But I fear tomorrow I’ll be crying, yes I fear tomorrow I’ll be crying.”

4. Macho Man Randy Savage – “What’s That All About (Pretty Lady)”

Randy Savage died today after suffering a heart attack while driving with his wife. Unsurprising, perhaps, given that the wrestler-turned-rapper looked and sounded like he was bound to explode at any moment, but a tragedy nonetheless. If this isn’t a sign of the coming apocalypse, we’re not sure what is. A world without Randy Savage? Why bother. Randy was one of the most enthusiastic entertainers of his time, and, all jokes aside, he’ll be missed.

3. Current 93 featuring Nick Cave – “All The Pretty Little Horses”

Current 93’s David Tibet has written countless songs about the end of the world. This, the harrowing song about a woman crying for her dead child, isn’t one of them, but in its bleak, sombre and overall encapsulating sadness, it’s a fitting song for sit around and die to. This version features Nick Cave, the sultan of the sombre, for that extra pinch of despair.

2. Ma$e – “24 Hours”

If Ma$e had 24 hours to live, he says he’d give money to the homeless for them to invest. If we had 24 hours to live, we’d tell Ma$e that while his intentions are good, that’s not a very good idea. DMX says he’d kill a bunch of people and blow shit up. If we had 24 hours to live, and even if we didn’t, we’d probably stay really, really far away from DMX.

And just so we can bring things full circle, Ma$e actually leads his own ministry now. How about that?

1. Rebecca Black – “Friday” R.E.M. – “It’s The End Of The World”

Fooled you. But in all seriousness, the video “Friday” has been seen over 140 million times and has charted in 7 countries. To quote this, the actual last song on our list, “it’s the end of the world as we know it.”